The Dilemma: Growing Wealth or Liberality in Family Spending

As I stand at this crossroads, I often find myself torn between two compelling choices: the pursuit of wealth accumulation or a more liberal approach to spending on my family.

I hail from a family background that has experienced financial struggles, surpassing the norm among Singaporeans. There was an extended period where my daily sustenance comprised a loaf of bread stretched over two days, not so generously adorned with my favorite spread, Nutella. That chapter unfolded eleven years ago, and while many in my circle saved money for future indulgences, my financial journey took a different path. In my financial calculations, leisure wasn't factored in—no dinners out, and no holiday plans were part of the equation. I envisioned hoarding these savings until my final days if I persisted down this narrow financial path only 3 to 4 years ago.

Having stepped into the roles of both a parent and a husband. The timeless wisdom of "time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time" rings in my ears. Similarly, the money spent on moments of joy—be it savoring a delicious meal, exploring a new alfresco cafe with the family, or a holiday—is not money wasted. This poses a genuine moral dilemma for me, battling against the ingrained habit of seeing every expenditure as "wasting money”. Let's not overlook the instances where I may have disappointed my family. ^{PS: But I still believe that my homemade latte and scrambled eggs put up a good fight with those in the cafe}

In a world where the choices we make with our finances sculpt our present and future, the struggle revolves around the dilemma of allocating our hard-earned money. The focal point of this debate, as alluded to earlier, prompts reflections on personal responsibility, societal expectations, and the delicate balance between immediate satisfaction and long-term financial well-being..

Here are 4 key considerations for you before you make your next family expense, whether big or small:

1. Immediate Gratification vs. Long-Term Security: 

   In this financial juggle, the wisest approach is to identify the non-negotiables for our family in the long run. By clarifying these foundational values, we establish a roadmap that guides our resource allocation. Keeping these enduring goals in mind empowers us to make judicious decisions, aligning our present actions with our family's core aspirations. As much as we love to travel and create memories with the fam, we would also not want to have a huge shortfall for our children’s University education or end up living off our children when we retire right?

2. Individual Responsibility and Social Expectations:

   On one hand, societal norms frequently underscore the significance of saving for emergencies, retirement, and unforeseen expenses. Conversely, there is a pervasive cultural and societal expectation to participate in leisure activities for the sake of personal well-being and happiness. An anecdote shared by a friend adds a poignant touch to this dilemma, recounting an incident where their primary school child came home one day and earnestly asked, "Why my friend can go to Japan Disneyland and we can’t?”. First world problem. Sometimes we hear that from our spouses too (oops not mine, just saying).

   _{PS: This could happen to a car, a house, or any branding merchandise too}

3. Impact on Personal Well-Being: 

   Leisure spending contributes to the family’s happiness and well-being, as it allows individuals to relax, unwind, enjoy life's pleasures, and create memories. However, excessive focus on saving or investing at the expense of leisure can lead to stress, burnout, and a diminished quality of life. Striking the right balance is crucial for maintaining a healthy and sustainable lifestyle. I have a business owner friend who recently had several sleepless nights a week, he took off to the land of Japan and feedback that he’s much more relaxed and slept like a child. It works! Of course, going is better than not going at all, manage your budget and you might find yourself in a sweet spot.

4. Generational Responsibility: 

   Saving and investing contribute to the family’s economic growth and stability, potentially benefiting future generations. Conversely, excessive consumption of money today can be very detrimental. Imagine the current high cost of living getting higher year after year. Can you imagine how much properties will cost our children 20 years from today?

   Conclusion

In the intricate dance between spending on leisure and saving or investing, we might see ourselves grapple with a moral dilemma that extends beyond personal finance. Ultimately, the moral decision lies in the ability to navigate this delicate equilibrium, recognizing that responsible financial choices can pave the way for a fulfilling and sustainable life.

For me, putting it in a very generic way, I would always choose to spend more liberally with my family now and make plans for what is important to address in the future. Easier said than done, so it is still a work in progress as resources are always limited. Having the courage to reject certain suggestions is tough, but necessary as some long-term goals take precedence over say getting the new shiny Tesla Model 3. However, I would prioritize a trip with my in-laws and family, because such experiences are really hard to come by.

After all, one of the greatest regrets I have in my life is not being able to bring my mother overseas as much as I would love to when she was around.

You can let me know what you think about this dilemma that most Singaporeans face and also which chem you might be in:

A) No freedom today, future secure

B) Achieving freedom today, future not secure

C) Working towards freedom today, future secure (Always a work in progress)